Back To School or First Time Nerves? The SNfMH Guide to the New Term

Starting school can be a daunting experience for children, but also for parents, particularly if your child is starting school for the first time.  It’s natural to be nervous as a parent and as a child, but with some simple preparation, the anxiety won’t hang around for too long. 

Read on for the Staffordshire Network for Mental Health guide to preparing for the new term. 

Parents: Keep Calm and Start Sewing! 

Label everything. Seriously. Everything!

For your own sanity, label every belonging that your child is taking into school with them. It can be frustrating for parents and teachers when items go missing and are difficult to find because they are not labelled. Sew-in or stick-on labels are a great solution – put them on everything you can! And sewing can be a great mindfulness exercise once you get going too. 

Prepare to get emotional!

It can be upsetting for parents to accept that their child is growing up and is able to cope without them for whole days at a time. As you wave them off, you may be overwhelmed with a range of emotions –pride, sadness, longing, apprehension, happiness, and even guilt. You are not alone. Most other parents will feel the same way too. Remember, self-care is important for you. It’s natural to feel nervous about your child starting school, but remember that your child can easily pick up on your emotions. 

• Try to be relaxed and positive, rather than showing your own nerves.
• Try not to make comments such as “I hated school” or “I was rubbish at school”,  which might give your child a negative attitude 

Things to Avoid 

• Try not to bombard your child with endless talk about school – treating it in a matter-of-fact way rather than focusing on the big step ahead will help soothe an anxious child.
• Don’t over-hype school, as your little one may feel let down or mistrustful if it doesn’t live up to expectations.

Your first week checklist to help you feel organised 

• Do you know exactly where you need to take your child, and at what time?
• Do you know where to collect your child, and at what time?
• Do you know what equipment they’ll need for the first few days? (PE kit, book bag, spare clothes and so on)
• Do you and your child know where to hang coats and PE kits?
• Does your child know who’ll be collecting them each day? If they are attending an after-school club, it could be a teacher, an assistant or a member of the after-school club. If it’s your regular childminder, have you reworked your contract to include the school run details?
• Do you know if you take your child into the classroom and settle them, or are they expected to go in on their own?
• Have you put name labels on absolutely everything? Show your child where the labels are and make sure they are sewn or stuck somewhere that’s easy for them to find. 

Children: It’s Natural to be Apprehensive 

Giving your child the best start to their time in school can have a positive impact on their entire education. So, how do you get it right? All children will enter school at different stages of development, and this is completely normal. But there are certain things that all parents and carers can do to ensure children are ready for this new experience.  

Become familiar, together 

Getting to know the school, new places and people can be very daunting for little ones. Becoming familiar with their new surroundings, as well as meeting the teachers and other adults working in their class, will give your child the reassurance that they are going into a familiar and welcoming environment: 

• Arrange to visit the school, with your child in the summer term before they enter their first year so that they are familiar with the setting.
• Attend information evenings for new parents, if provided, so that you can ask questions and find out about the school’s expectations for your child.
• If an older sibling already attends the school, ask them to tell your younger child about what school is like, who the staff are, and what to expect. They may be doing this naturally in conversation already.
• Many schools organise home visits, where your child’s teacher will visit you at home or in the child’s nursery setting, to get to know a little about your family and background. 

Seize these opportunities to ensure that there is good communication and understanding between home and school, as this will provide your child with the structure and security that they need for this next stage in their development. 

Socialise your child 

Opportunities to socialise with other children are important for your child; they will help develop certain social skills that will benefit them in school and later life: 

• Turn-taking.  Give your child opportunities to play games and understand the importance of taking turns and listening to others.
• Inviting others to play and asking them to join in.
• Encourage them to be empathetic towards other children.
• Put together a wallchart of the week. It can help your child know what to expect
• Teach them some useful phrases such as “Can I join in please?”  or “Do you want to share?”.  

 With good family communication and encouragement, your child will soon be skipping off to school instead of dreading it – and you’ll be a happy, calm parent in the process.